Sometimes you get a chance to finally be able to say something you thought about repeatedly for hours on end and never thought you would get to vocalize. There is always that saying “some things are better left unsaid” but thankfully in this instance I was given the chance to say it after 49 long arduous days.

There are certain things that happen in life for a reason and people come into your life for one reason or another. Every so often you come across a unicorn and it will take you by surprise when you least expect it. While navigating the dark depths of my brain and trying to recover from a previous battle of unneeded stress I came across a ray of sunshine in the darkness. On a whim it was a day that changed my outlook on life at that point and going forward…a whole damn unicorn popped up.

The unicorn brought along its own shadow with some velcro too – that was one of the best combos anyone could ask for. At first it was just supposed to be a “let’s see and visit again later” and it turned into so much more of a time. Being around a unicorn can have its advantages – they are usually always happy, which in turn makes the introvert be more of an extrovert. A unicorn can bring a sense of calm and tranquility when you need it most – not only does that help you but then you are there for them when they need.

You don’t expect to be the one to rush the unicorn to get a procedure but knowing they could count on me and the interactions that fostered were irreplaceable. You strengthen your bond in ways that you don’t expect or vocalize but notice the change after a very short time.

After you spend time with the unicorn you get the shadow and the velcro – both of those are awesome in their own right….but the unicorns family was awesome as well. Mutual interests and the thought of different conversations made me excited. That combo helped knock down the great steel walls surrounding the castle – once this happened we started talking and next thing I knew I am trying to not fall in – I felt like I was already suffocating in my current state but that was a breath of fresh air that I needed.

Just like with every good thing that comes along I find a way to fuck things up. I didn’t do good and lost the velcro and the unicorn with the shadow. I lost my friend and confidant in a matter of moments – then had to stir in my own anguish until it happened in person. In the time following that the unicorn has decided to migrate and will never be the ray of sunshine in my life ever again. I will forever be disappointed in myself for letting that happen and not being there with the whole damn unicorn. It is amazing the random things you learn about yourself when you are placed in the right situations…also find out how much it hurts when you stub your toe then trip and fall over the walls you were letting down.

Sometimes you meet somebody and don’t think that years later that person will change your life or even your outlook on life. If I would’ve known that was the last time that I was going to see you, I probably would’ve squeezed you tighter and not let go. This will serve as my forever reminder of what was and what could have been.